after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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