As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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