she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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