what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
