I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
