belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
