so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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