Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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