Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
