College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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