Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Mom said you looked used
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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