so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
