dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
