I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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