So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
