You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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