We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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