physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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