I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
