Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
