Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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