At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
