It's like God shit irony all over that family
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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