I showed him my bush... on skype.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think your dad took our porno
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
