IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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