You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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