how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
