Can Purell be used as lube?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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