so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
