Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
