Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
