Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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