Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
