At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
