I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
