would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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