No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
