Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
