Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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