I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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