I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's never too late to be topless.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
