I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
