Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
