I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
