dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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