Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
