So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
