I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
