The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
