You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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