just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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