Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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